The Beat Goes On

Today while cruising around in my vintage Lotus Elan this morning (a gift from a late paramour of mine who shall remain, like his fondness for gorgonzola, a mystery), I was twiddling the radio dial and happened on the briefest snippet of dialogue that made me see (or is it hear?) red. I believe the DJ was reading a listener-email commenting on police brutality during some sort of recent local public disturbance. They complained, "How dare the police beat the crowd when there were women and children present!"

Where was I when women and children were raised above receiving beatings? Speaking as a woman, all of us are righteous you-know-whats at times and deserve a good throttle, slap up side the head, or a good punch to the ovaries once in a while, as much as any man. And who hasn't wanted to smack a child just because it's Tuesday? Seriously, it is this kind of double standard that keeps vaginas at bay and out of offices of power and we're doing it to ourselves. If we can't get down and dirty in the mud wrestling pit with the men and take a good beating, we have no business complaining about our unfair treatment.

I didn't burn my bra decades ago because my breasts were afraid of the dark.

Words I Hate

I was listening to NPR this afternoon and very nearly vomited all over my iMac. In retrospect, if I had, it might have improved the computer. What was so wretched that would cause me to, well, retch? I heard a newsman repeat a word I hate. Nay, loathe!

Blogosphere.

It is truly terrible and should be stricken from the lexicon. Yes, this is a blog you are reading, but it is hardly a place for such crap as "personal journalism" and "which retard are you" quizzes. This, like the title says, is "an Internet curiosity for pitiful fools."

To counter such a heinous word, I am leaving you with one that I find most pleasing.

Tintinnabulation.

For those who would like to see it used in a sentence, I suggest finding a copy of Edgar Allen Poe's poem "The Bells".


Listening to: NPR
Mood: Indignantly Righteous

Resolute

With the New Year upon us it is time I come up with a list of Earth-shattering resolutions. I can hear you asking yourself now though: how can you improve upon utter perfection? Not to worry, it's a very short list!

1. I will never let updating Top to Bottom get so out of control as it did at the end of 2006. There is nothing more important in my life than making my fans happy. Okay, so I lie--making myself happy is the most important, but you come in at a very close seventh.

2. I will stop using the word "fabulous". I'd hate to alienate my gay fan base, but I've never been one to bow down to peer pressure and I certainly won't bow to queer pressure. The word has been over-used, thanks to the spiritless folks at Entertainment Weakly.

3. I will find three new charities to contribute my precious time to and they will not include things like "Finding Matthew a Better Haircut" or "Giving People Coupons to Get Their Backs Waxed".

4. I will be more fabulous. (The last time, I promise!)

5. And I will consider making amends with Martha Stewart. Maybe.